Shikamaru, Konoha's Lazy Bird
by Elsil
Summary: What might Shikamaru's average morning be like? My attempt to explore a small part of Konoha's laziest genius. Re-post one-shot.


**Disclaimer:** The following story is a fan made work of fiction. Naruto is written and illustrated by Masashi Kishimoto and published in Weekly Shonen Jump. Please support the official release.

**Shikamaru, Konoha's Lazy Bird**

"Chirp!" went the little blue bird.

Daylight had come to the Land of Fire. Early risers left their homes, putting on shoes and reaching for their keys. Shops switched their signs from closed to open. The sounds of life in all its busy glory began to fill Konoha's streets.

Yet in a village which ran like clockwork, whose residents took pride in seizing the new day from beginning to end, there were those who preferred to sleep just a few minutes longer. One man to whom sleep was more precious than any shop.

Morning sunlight streamed in through an open window, falling gently upon the young man's sleeping form. Loose black hair framed a relaxed, angular face just beginning to show lines of worry and wear. Content to remain there, neither sound nor movement ushered from the sleeping save for soft sounds of breath.

If left undisturbed, the young man would most likely have remained in such a position for several hours. Alas, such a thing did not come to be; for he was a ninja, and no true ninja can ever rest for long.

* * *

"Oi, Shikamaru," came the soft, whispered voice of a woman. "It's time to greet the new day." The shape within the bed stayed still. "Honey, it's time to wake up and join your team. The early bird catches the worm, and I have a feeling that today is going to be a great day for you," the feminine voice continued.

"Mmmf" was the young man's reply. Whatever he said was lost in translation, for it was in the tongue of men, the morning grunt.

The voice came again. "Oh Shikamaru... if you don't wake up for me, I'll ask Ino and Choji to do it in my stead." The sleeping form failed to even twitch at this motivational threat. "Do you really want Ino-chan to see your inner fantasies again?"

"Mwa." A muffled response came from the bed.

Displeased by this lack of response, the woman's voice came again. No longer soft and gentle, the voice now sounded as sharp and hard as a drawn kunai. "Shikamaru, if you really want to do this the hard way, I'll just get my scissors and chop off your ridiculous hair. You'll look just like you did when back when you were little and were too lazy to put the lid back on the toilet."

Hearing this, the sleeping form began to gasp and thrash around in bed as if suddenly stricken by nightmares. Yet despite this even dire threat, the sleeping man still refused to wake. His dedication to remaining asleep was immense.

"Here I come my little darling. Snip snip snip..."

* * *

"Fwa! No! Devil mother, get away!"

With a startled yell, Shikamaru's eyes flashed open as his upper body shot up in his bed. _What was I dreaming about_? Something about clouds, and grass... and scissor wielding, mind flaying Inos? While Choji sat on him and laughed? _Oh, shit._ Those jumbled thoughts led him to one conclusion._ Mother_.

Peeking at his mother through half lidded eyes as he held his hair with both hands, Shikamaru studied the situation. Upon seeing that Ino was not there, and that his mother did not currently possess a pair of scissors, Shikamaru calmed down and let out a yawn – which promptly got him smacked across the head.

"Eh, mom..." he said while flopping back down, "why do you have to wake me up this way every time I spend the night at home?" Shikamaru covered his eyes with an arm and groaned in frustration. _And why do I have the urge to kiss a rabbit-__looking Ino__?_

A black scowl he could hear in her voice greeted him in reply. "Because you're as lazy as your father!Now get up out of that bed and take a shower. You didn't clean yourself up after that last mission of yours and I refuse to allow your smelly body into my kitchen."

Shikamaru groaned. _What did I do to deserve this?_

Bustling about his room, Shikamaru's mother fully opened the blinds of his three windows, letting the sun shine into the room in all of it's early morning glory. Shikamaru's lidded eyes followed out of habit. In the dawn's light she glowed, appearing calm and serene. _If only it were true, _Shikamaru thought to himself. _Then my life would be so much easier. Irksome women and their menstrual cycles_

Shaking his head and muttering, Shikamaru stretched his body out and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. That last mission had been a difficult one, and the exhaustion that had overtaken him the night before still clung to his brain.

Closing his eyes while yawning again, Shikamaru prepared to stand up. When he fully opened his eyes, though, all he saw was his mother's still scowling visage. Except this time she looked positively furious. _Shit_._ One second calm, the next second furious. Why?_

She smiled at him, and in a voice coated with honey, said, "If I ever catch you making another sexist remark like that in my presence, I won't just whisper threats into your ear while you sleep. I'll find little Ino and let her loose on your entire wardrobe while I personally shave you bald. Got it? Now get up and do your stuff. I'm off to wake up your slack eyed father."

Giving him the grin of a deranged clown, Shikamaru's mother then patted her son on the head and walked off with a new spring to her step. Shikamaru watched in horror. It took a full minute before Shikamaru finally felt strength begin to return to his limbs.

_My clouds, my loved ones, and my life. I would miss you all! __Crazy woman_. Groaning in misery yet again, Shikamaru finally stood up and cracked his back. "If that's going to happen, mother, I'll be taking dad down with me."

He stripped his vest off, and as it fell to the floor, intoned "_That which is visited upon one male member is visited upon all male members._" _Thump_. His mesh shirt hit the ground. "The Nara Clan's code of male ethics and responsibility."

And with that thought held firmly within his mind, Shikamaru unzipped his pants and prepared to greet the bright day in front of him.

End

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed reading this little one-shot. It's a story that I had posted up some time ago, but took down as I was not satisfied with how it felt. I'm still not completely there, but I tweaked it here and there until I felt like I could put my pen-name on the story for good.

Until later everyone,

Elsil


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